Ahithophel's Influence
It was because of his wisdom that Ahithophel became one of the most influential, powerful and connected men of his day. He had the job only other people could wish for - David's counselor, 2 Samuel 15:12. What a position - advisor to Israel's greatest king. Alexander Whyte said, "David never made a law, nor gave a judgment, nor pronounced a war, nor negotiated a truce, nor signed a peace agreement, till Ahithophel had been heard and till his advice had been taken."

King David at this time was in his fifties. Ahithophel would have been in his seventies. Together, they were a great team.

What would you imagine happened to a man so wise and so connected? It may surprise you.

"And when Ahithophel saw that his counsel was not followed, he saddled his ass, and arose, and gat him home to his house, to his city, and put his household in order, and hanged himself, and died, and was buried in the sepulchre of his father." 2 Samuel 17:23.

Ahithophel's Grave
Isn't this a sad and surprising end to a man who was known for his wisdom? By reading 2 Samuel 17 you get the idea that Ahithophel mentally lost it because a rival counselor's advice was followed and his was ignored. Why did Ahithophel take such an impulsive, drastic, and fatal action? What could lead such a brilliant man who had walked the courts of the king's palace and enjoyed the friendship of Israel's greatest king to take his own life?

By digging into the Scriptures and going behind the scenes, we are able to find the facts that help us understand why this happened.

Joining a Conspiracy
Ahithophel joined a conspiracy against King David, led by David's own rebellious son, Absalom, 2 Samuel 15:12, 31. Absalom was making moves to win the hearts of the people, overthrow David and become Israel's king. Absalom somehow contacted Ahithophel and persuaded him to leave his cabinet position as the "king's counselor." Ahithophel had walked out on David and joined this counter-kingdom movement. Have you ever had anyone close to you turn on you? David's friend now became David's foe. Ahithophel was now among those who were standing against the Lord's anointed.

Giving Wicked Counsel
"Then said Absalom to Ahithophel, Give counsel among you what we shall do. And Ahithophel said unto Absalom, Go in unto thy father's concubines, which he hath left to keep the house; and all Israel shall hear that thou art abhorred of thy father: then shall the hands of all that are with thee be strong. So they spread Absalom a tent upon the top of the house; and Absalom went in unto his father's concubines in the sight of all Israel." 2 Samuel 16:20-22. Ahithophel's wise counsel was turned to wicked counsel because he now hated David and wanted him destroyed. This wicked counsel showed Ahithophel's utter disrespect he now had for King David, his former friend.

Leading a Personal Hit Squad
"Moreover Ahithophel said unto Absalom, Let me now choose out twelve thousand men, and I will arise and pursue after David this night: And I will come upon him while he is weary and weak handed, and will make him afraid: and all the people that are with him shall flee; and I will smite the king only:" 2 Samuel 17:1-2. Can you feel the anger? Ahithophel promised that if Absalom would give him twelve thousand men he would personally "smite the king." He wanted the resources and opportunity to murder King David.

When we have been hurt by others it is so easy to become bitter. When we, or someone we love, have been done wrong it is our natural, sinful response to be filled with anger and resentment.

There is an old story of a Quaker who owned an ornery cow. Every time he milked her it was an ordeal. One particular morning the cow was unusually irritable; however, the Quaker was determined to get through the ordeal without getting angry. As the Quaker began to milk the cow, the cow stepped on his foot. He struggled silently, groaned under his breath, pulled his foot free, and then sat back on the stool. The cow then swished her tail in the Quaker's face. Next she kicked over the bucket spilling the milk. Then on top of everything else, she hauled off and kicked him against the barn wall. That did it. He stood to his feet, marched in front of the cow, pointed his finger in the cow's face and said, "Thou dost know that I am a Quaker. Thou dost know also that I cannot strike thee back, but I can sell thee to a Baptist."

We can become so angry and bitter that we plan out ways to try to get even.

King David wrote about Ahithophel's change of attitude toward him in two Psalms. "Yea, mine own familiar friend, in whom I trusted, which did eat of my bread, hath lifted up his heel against me." Psalm 41:9. Jesus quoted this scripture in John 13:18 in reference to Judas, with the exception of the phrase, "in whom I trusted." Jesus never trusted Judas; he had a devil from the beginning. The first Judas was Ahithophel and the friend he betrayed was King David.

"For it was not an enemy that reproached me; then I could have borne it: neither was it he that hated me that did magnify himself against me; then I would have hid myself from him: But it was thou, a man mine equal, my guide, and mine acquaintance. We took sweet counsel together, and walked unto the house of God in company." Psalm 55:12-14. Think about the parallel between Ahithophel and Judas: both were friend to a King, both betrayed their friend, both died by suicide. David says of his betrayer, Ahithophel, "He hath put forth his hands against such as be at peace with him: he hath broken his covenant. The words of his mouth were smoother than butter, but war was in his heart: his words were softer than oil, yet were they drawn swords." Psalm 55:20-21.

Sometimes the Bible is silent and we are never told why certain things happened the way they did.
There are other times if we dig more deeply into scripture we can find the answer. There are two other scriptures that uncover the reason Ahithophel acted so ruthlessly and irrationally.

Toward the end of 2 Samuel, in chapter 23, is a listing of a handful of the men who distinguished themselves in King David's army. Among those listed as outstanding soldiers was, "...Eliam the son of Ahithophel the Gilonite," 2 Samuel 23:34. If there had been a bronze star or a purple heart in his day, Ahithophel's son, Eliam, would have received them for his courage and loyalty. Can you grasp what this meant? It meant that although Ahithophel stood against David, Eliam stood true to David, his commander-in-chief. How rare is this and how commendable! There are times when doing what is right is thicker than blood.

The final scripture which opens the door to the mystery of Ahithophel is in 2 Samuel 11. When you review the events of this chapter you discover this was David's darkest day. It was Ahithophel's darkest day, too. Ahithophel's best friend, David, had a midlife fling with a beautiful neighbor. The name of the young woman involved in David's sexual sin was Bathsheba, daughter of Eliam, and wife of Uriah, 2 Samuel 11:3. Can you put this together? Bathsheba was Ahithophel's granddaughter. David's awful sin of adultery was with his best friend's granddaughter, who would have been somewhere in her thirties. Of all the people Ahithophel thought he could trust it would have been his best friend. When David took Bathsheba he was not just committing sin with her and against God, he was violating a long-standing friendship. David violated Ahithophel's flesh and blood.

Ahithophel's Grief

How do you think you would feel if your best friend took your granddaughter to satisfy a moment of unbridled lust? You can only imagine the hurt, the anger, the rage you would feel if you stood in Ahithophel's sandals.

Ahithophel blamed David alone for what was done to his granddaughter.

Was Bathsheba an innocent partner in an ancient Middle Eastern culture where women had few rights? Could she be expected to deny the demands of the king? It is easy to lay all of this sin at the feet of David alone, but take a second look.

Bathsheba was bathing herself in clear sight of the king's palace, 2 Samuel 11:2. It is probably more accurate to view her as a consenting partner in this sexual encounter. That conclusion can be drawn because of an event that happened a couple of chapters later: Amnon's rape of Tamar. Tamar begged Ammon not to do it, "Howbeit he [Ammon] would not hearken unto her [Tamar's] voice: but, being stronger than she, forced her, and lay with her," 2 Samuel 13:14. Bathsheba may not have asked for this to happen, but there are no words in the Bible to indicate she offered any resistance. Further, when her husband returned from battle there is no record of her confiding in him in outrage or brokenness about her being taken advantage of by the king.

Weeks passed when David had all but forgotten his evening of lust, when he heard from Bathsheba the worst four words he had ever heard to that point, "I am with child," 2 Samuel 11:5. These are Bathsheba's only recorded words in the Bible. It is not to be overlooked that her sin was punishable by death, Leviticus 20:10.

Instead of immediately getting right with God, David began mapping out a cowardly cover-up, 2 Samuel 11:6-13, ending in the murder of Bathsheba's husband, 2 Samuel 11:14-17. Afterward the appropriate period of grief David married Bathsheba, pretending everything was all right, 2 Samuel 11:26-27. "...But the thing that David had done displeased the LORD." 2 Samuel 11:27. When people do wrong, the Lord is watching; even when it is the king.

But not only was the Lord watching, so was Ahithophel.

Ahithophel's Guilt

Months passed. David had married Bathsheba, their baby had been born, but there was still no repentance from David. Psalms 32, 38, and 51 record what David was feeling in his unforgiven state. "When I kept silence, my bones waxed old through my roaring all the day long. For day and night thy hand was heavy upon me: my moisture is turned into the drought of summer." Psalm 32:3-4. "There is no soundness in my flesh because of thine [God's…jdl] anger; neither is there any rest in my bones because of my sin. For mine iniquities are gone over mine head: as an heavy burden they are too heavy for me. My wounds stink and are corrupt because of my foolishness. I am troubled; I am bowed down greatly; I go mourning all the day long. For my loins are filled with a loathsome disease: and there is no soundness in my flesh. I am feeble and sore broken: I have roared by reason of the disquietness of my heart...My heart panteth, my strength faileth me: as for the light of mine eyes, it also is gone from me. My lovers and my friends stand aloof from my sore; and my kinsmen stand afar off. They also that seek after my life lay snares for me: and they that seek my hurt speak mischievous things, and imagine deceits all the day long." Psalm 38:3-8, 10-12.

Then, one day, David got a dreaded visit from God's prophet, Nathan. After hearing a short, stirring story from the prophet David heard the worst four words in his life, "...Thou art the man…" 2 Samuel 12:7. David's heart was finally broken; he confessed his sin and God forgive him on the spot. "And David said unto Nathan, I have sinned against the LORD. And Nathan said unto David, The LORD also hath put away thy sin; thou shalt not die." 2 Samuel 12:13. Isn't the forgiveness of God amazing and wonderful!

Shouts probably began to ring through the palace, "The king has repented. The king has been forgiven. The king is again right with the Lord God."

The Curse of an Unforgiving Spirit
But there was one man in the kingdom who did not celebrate David's repentance. Ahithophel was determined he would not forgive David, no matter what he said or did. Ahithophel was still holding his I.O.U. on David. He was hurt and there was no getting over it, as far as he was concerned.

We can never underestimate the hurt Ahithophel must have felt. Hurt hurts! It is one thing to be hurt by someone directly or indirectly; it is another thing to hold on to that hurt and justify our reactions to our hurt.

David's sincere repentance only hardened Ahithophel's heart. David's tears would not bring back Bathsheba's purity, nor Uriah's life. Then, the death of Bathsheba's baby, Ahithophel's great-grandchild, must have only added to his anger and bitterness.

It was an awful thing David did. David sinned against God. David sinned against Bathsheba. David sinned against Uriah, one of his faithful soldiers. David sinned against Ahithophel, his trusted counselor. David violated flesh and blood. David fractured a trusted friendship. David ruptured a long-time relationship.

The Course of an Unforgiving Spirit
Ahithophel, very naturally and normally, had a hard time dealing with what David had done to his family, particularly to his granddaughter. He was deeply hurt by this terrible sin. One cannot blame Ahithophel because he was hurt. It was real. It was deep. Ahithophel is to be blamed for his refusal to forgive David. A person who will not forgive others places himself above God and Jesus Christ who say, "I will forgive." When we will not forgive others we are in essence saying, "What others have done to me is of greater significance than what I have done to God."

Here is the course people follow when they get hurt. There are only two options.
(1) You forgive and become better by it.
(2) You refuse to forgive and become bitter.

That's it-either better or bitter.

The Cost of an Unforgiving Spirit
What happens to a person who is consumed with anger, bitterness and unforgiveness?

Who did Ahithophel hurt? David? I am sure David was hurt by Ahithophel's refusal to forgive him. We have read about David's hurt in Psalms 41 and Psalm 55.

Primarily, Ahithophel hurt only himself! Bitterness must have a victim. If its first choice escapes [as David did by his repentance and confession], hate turns and become self-destructive, even suicidal [as with Ahithophel]. Bitterness, anger, resentment, revenge ends up killing the person who is determined to harbor them. If David could not die, then Ahithophel did not want to live.

This is precisely what happened to Ahithophel. He hated David, but he hung himself! Go figure. He committed suicide. The Center for Disease Control and Prevention reports that ...
· In some years more people die from suicide than from homicide in America.
· Suicide was the eighth leading cause of death for all ages.
· In 2006 more than 33,000 suicides occurred in the United States. This is the equivalent of 91 suicides per day; one suicide every 16 minutes or 10.95 suicides per 100,000 population.
· Among young adults ages 15 to 24 years old, there are approximately 100-200 attempts for every completed suicide.

Only eternity will reveal how many suicides or suicide attempts are directly related to forgiveness-the guilt of not experiencing God's forgiveness or the grief of not graciously extending forgiveness to others.

The cost of a person who refuses to forgive is tremendous. People who do not forgive commit...
· Social suicide. You cannot have friend without forgiveness, so you are left with discouragement and loneliness. Relationships become revolving doors with people who are only strangers.
· Emotional suicide. You cannot have joy without forgiveness, so you are left with depression.
· Mental suicide. You cannot have peace without forgiveness, so you are left with distraction.
· Moral suicide. You cannot have purity without forgiveness, so you are left with denial.
· Spiritual suicide. You cannot have life without forgiveness, so you are left with distance between you and God.
· Physical suicide. The only thing left is a poor quality of physical existence.

Jesus said the person who will not forgive is "turned over to the tormentors," Matthew 18:34.
Pastor Jimmy Chapman warns, "Bitterness will dominate you mentally, depress you emotionally, debilitate you physically and destroy you spiritually."

The Cure for an Unforgiving Spirit
There is a remedy for those who are in the clutches of an unforgiving spirit and bitterness.

"And when they came to Marah, they could not drink of the waters of Marah, for they were bitter: therefore the name of it was called Marah. And the people murmured against Moses, saying, What shall we drink? And he cried unto the LORD; and the LORD shewed him a tree, which when he had cast into the waters, the waters were made sweet: there he made for them a statute and an ordinance, and there he proved them, And said, If thou wilt diligently hearken to the voice of the LORD thy God, and wilt do that which is right in his sight, and wilt give ear to his commandments, and keep all his statutes, I will put none of these diseases upon thee, which I have brought upon the Egyptians: for I am the LORD that healeth thee." Exodus 15:23-26.

There is only one remedy for an unforgiving spirit - the cross of Jesus Christ, "the tree." The gospel remedy for an unforgiving spirit is to confess our bitterness to God as sin, Ephesians 4:31, claim the cleansing blood of Jesus for our bitterness, 1 John 1:7, commit to do everything God requires to make things as right as they can be, Matthew 5:24, and then to conquer any reoccurrence of this spirit by staying in the Word of God, Psalm 119:165.

A 90-year-old veteran of several world conflicts was interviewed about his long life. "I'm 90 years old today and I don't have a single enemy in the world," he said. Hoping for a big insight, the interviewer asked, "What's your secret for living almost a century and not having an enemy?" "Easy," the old man said, "I've outlived them all."

God's answer for those who are our enemies is not outliving them, but forgiving and loving them!